Your Story Matters
As soon as I saw this beautiful sign in a little gift shop the other day, I knew it was coming home with me. Those three words are the foundation of my journaling practice and the main idea I work to convey to people during my journaling workshops: Your story matters.
And, I would venture, after brain injury it matters even more.
Why? Because the best way to understand brain injury is to know what it does to people—survivors and family caregivers alike—and how it changes their lives. For instance, an injury to the frontal lobes can harm cognitive functions such as planning, working memory, attention, inhibition, problem solving, initiation, and monitoring one’s actions. Knowing that from a medical standpoint is necessary. Yet that might not make much impact until you know that such an injury can prevent a person from working, which means the loss of a home to the survivor and her young children. Where do they go now? How will they survive? This woman’s story matters not only to her and her family, but also to society.
A common refrain I hear from people with brain injury and their caregivers is that people don’t take the time to understand, now that brain injury has changed them and their once-familiar stories. Even the family members and friends we expect will be supportive can turn their backs on the new reality, on our new story—on us. Even doctors, including neurologists, can be unwilling to listen to the stories we need them to hear so they can provide the right treatments. And in many ways, insurance companies, lawmakers, and other institutions don’t want to deal with the messy business of brain injury, either. It’s too frightening or annoying or expensive for them to become involved.
Before Ken’s TBI, brain injury was not a subject I’d thought much about. But once it happened, I sought out stories of other survivors and family caregivers. I read some academic or instructional books on caring for someone with a TBI, but what mattered the most to me were personal stories, such as memoir. They revealed the hard truth of what happened to the survivor and/or the family. These books helped to prepare me for what Ken’s and my future could be.
My own story mattered to me, too. It was important to keep creating and revealing it to myself during the chaotic months after Ken’s accident so that I could stay as grounded as possible. By writing in my journal, I was able to tell my story to myself, to record the events and, more importantly, work through my frayed emotions to discover my true feelings about what was happening. This practice mattered more than I can say. It was truly the best thing I could have done for myself.
Remember: Your story matters. It matters most to you, and it could matter to others. Give yourself the gift of a few minutes at least every few days to journal. It can help you clarify your thoughts and feelings about what brain injury has brought into your life. It can be the lifeline to the new story you’ve been searching for.
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Today’s journaling prompts
If you’re ready to do some private writing in your journal, choose one or more of these prompts to get started. Do your best to write for at least five minutes, and I encourage you to write for 20 minutes if you’re able. Remember, though, if the topic feels too uncomfortable or scary, don’t force yourself to write.
If you’ve had a brain injury:
• Once upon a time, (your name) had a brain injury and… (tell this one in the third person, using “he” or “she” instead of “I.” It will provide a little distance from events and can give you another perspective in telling your story.)
• My brain injury changed my life by…
• If I could tell the world about brain injury, I would say…
If you’re a family caregiver:
• Once upon a time, (your loved one’s name) had a brain injury and… (
• Becoming a caregiver changed my life by…
• If I could tell the world about brain injury, I would say…
Tags: Brain Injury, Family Caregiver, journaling, story, TBI, your story matters
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January 1, 2012 at 1:21 am
Nice blog. Keep it up.